I Don't Like Remix

I made my first video. I'm a big girl now lol.

www.indiegogo.com/whoownsmybody

My documentary, Who Owns My Body?

Ceck out my indiegogo campaign for my documentary: http://www.indiegogo.com/projects/194405?a=474741

Love and Hip Hop Atlanta

My news feed was overrun with statuses about Love and Hip Hop ATL, so I had to check it out. I enjoy some messy ‘reality’ television and this show gives me a healthy dosage. Now I don’t need to give a recap of the drama because if you clicked on this, you probably watched it. 

There’s a myriad of things I could discuss, but what made my antennas flare up was the relationship with Mimi and Stevie J. You’re probably thinking I’m about to talk about their love triangle with that manly Joseline character. Nope. What I really want to know is why is Mimi with a man for 15 years and he isn’t even close to proposing. After 15 years, he’s finally trying to buy a house. Before you can even think aw how sweet, he’s not even planning to live with her. 

It may not be fair to put a time limit on when couples should marry, but 15 years. It’s not just Mimi, its Emily waiting 9 years with Fab and Chrissy waiting 7 years for Jim. I’m thinking when does one get fed up with waiting. I just heard a story about a woman that waited 8 years before she got the title of girlfriend. I don’t feel like it takes that long to figure out if you want to marry someone. If you’ve reached the 3 -year mark with no ring in sight, chuck him the deuces. I hate to see my ladies waste all their sexy years dating somebody for an eternity, pop out his babies, start looking like a baked potato, then he marry the next chick.

Everybody was in the club shaking their ass to Beyonce, but did anybody listen to the words? Chile, she said if you liked it then you should a put a ring on it. 

I mean even Lebron want a ring lol. 

Trayvon Martin

I cried for Troy Davis. I didn’t know him personally, but he was a representation to me, as well as many, the value of black life. While it couldn’t be proven he was guilty without a shadow of doubt, he was still executed. His case made international headlines. I remember a guy saying; “People are hopping on the bandwagon with all this Troy Davis talk.” I was surprised that someone would compare seeking justice and trying to save a life to simply hopping on the bandwagon. I guess all those people marched on Washington because they wanted to be cool like MLK.

Trayvon Martin was a young black teen wearing a hoodie and walking home from the store when a white vigilante, George Zimmerman who later claims self-defense, gunned him down. Even though, multiple witnesses and pieces of evidence say otherwise. Zimmerman even admits in a 911 call to following Trayvon. Its funny how Trayvon could pose such a threat, but its Zimmerman doing the following. Trayvon’s case has caused outraged considering his killer wasn’t arrested. People have been taking pictures in hoodies as a sign of solidarity with his family and against injustice.

Yet, once again here come the naysayers. The people who have a problem with others wanting justice for Trayvon. Most of them say black on black crimes kill people everyday, so why make a big deal out of this. Others say, don’t compare Trayvon Martin to Emmett Till. Why can’t we be happy black people are mobilizing around an issue? Should we not fight against institutionalized racism because our communities are plagued by violence? I grew up in a poor, violence filled neighborhood. I know three young men who fell victim to black on black crime. I also know three young men who died from white on black crime in the form of police shootings.

Trayvon Martin is Emmett Till. Trayvon Martin is Troy Davis.  We have to make the connection between black on black crime and state sanctioned racial violence.

Institutionalized racism allows for:

Police shootings with no justice

Poverty

Lack of education

Prison industrial complex- that our young black men are becoming apart of at increasingly younger ages

Lack of gun control in our communities.

As long as our youth have easier access to a gun than they do a job or an adequate education, then our communities will continue to be plagued by violence. 

And since we’re so concerned with black on black crime, if George Zimmerman were black, he’d be in jail right now.

None of us are free until all of us are free

 

Causing Divisions to Sustain Power

As a liberal, I often wondered how poor white Republicans could be disillusioned into voting for Republicans when it’s quite obvious that they don’t have their best economic interests in hand. It all comes down to the Republicans ability to cause divisions. It’s done with social issues such as abortion. Racism plays a huge role. Latinos are portrayed as 'illegals' that take all the jobs. Black people are portrayed as a lazy and waiting on a government handout.

Its amazing to think how advanced we could be as a country if poor people decided to work together for economical change instead of being hung up on racial bias.

I went from thinking about this not in terms of politics but in the black community. One huge division is between the men and women. Historically, it has been a widely accepted myth that the black woman does better than the black man. It was said the Black woman was more powerful than the Black man and often emasculated him. It’s just ridiculous to think that somehow in the midst of a patriarchal, capitalist society black women were able to turn the black community into a matriarchal society. Has there ever been in a time in history that women of any racial group has ever fared dramatically better economically, socially and politically than her male counterparts?

Yes, one can make the point that more black women graduate from college. Yet, men with the same education still earn more. Single high-school educated black women with children have a ticket to poverty. Black men are imprisoned at alarming rates but black women are infected with HIV at alarming rates. Now does the discussion move towards, what worse, prison or HIV?

It doesn’t end with gender; there are class divisions. Who’s educated? Who talks white? Who’s not black enough? The point is these senseless divisions are preventing us from forming the much needed unity if we ever want to make progress a group.

It’s done with religion. Black pastors supported groups that placed offensive, racist billboards in the black community. I understand because of your religion, you’re anti-abortion, but that doesn’t mean supporting a group that thinks its ok to call black children endangered species. How about we refrain from shaming black women from having abortions and instead shame a society that makes it viable to have an abortion because you’re poor.

I think once we understand the intersections of our lives and the fact we have more similarities than differences, divisions will cease to matter.

“None of us are free until all of us are free.” MLK

Whitney Houston

 

Whitney Houston has passed away. When my cousin first told me, I thought she was on twitter and Whitney was simply the latest twitter casualty. Unfortunately, this was the real deal. The past few years we’ve watched as Whitney hit rock bottom and countless photos surfaced of Whitney under the influence. Yet, with the new movie Sparkle and talks of an album, it appeared Whitney was poised for a comeback. Too bad it will never happen.   

My mothers words ring in my ear; “I can feel her pain. Sometimes the pain is too much. Sometimes we can’t outrun the demons.” Well whatever her pain was, she’s finally at peace.

Like many I view Whitney Houston as the greatest singer ever. Waiting to Exhale and The Preacher’s Wife are two of my favorite movies.  My Love is Your Love is my favorite Whitney cd.

Here are a few of my favorites from My Love is Your Love:  

Heartbreak Hotel

Its Not Right But Its Ok

If I Told You That

I still can’t believe we lost The Voice.

Jeremy Lin

I've never wrote a sports post before and this isn't necessarily one either. I just wanted to acknowledge Jeremy Lin for a brief moment. I saw him play amazingly last night against Kobe and The Lakers.




While he is a great player, I'm more interested in his story. I found it surprising that he went from Harvard to the NBA. Who thinks playing for Harvard would lead to the NBA? Anyway, what I found remarkable was, just days ago his contract wasn't guaranteed and he was living with brother. Now he's the NBA's newest star.



I was just a little insipred. He was almost cut from the team and now people are wearing his t-shirts. Aspiring to have a writing career has been a long journey and when I feel like I've reached my end, maybe there will be a breakthrough.
 

"A fetus is not a baby"

“A fetus is not a baby. It never has been a baby and until it is viable outside the womb it is just plain silly to call it one. Should I cry for each period I get because it could have been a fetus that would have potentially turned into a baby?”

I don’t know who this person is, but I love this quote.

Last night, I had friends over. A discussion about not being able to go out anymore because of children morphed into a conversation about abortion. Friend A told Friend B that she wouldn’t have let her have an abortion. They go on to agree that, if it were a few years ago she would understand because she would be younger and not ready. Then Friend B talks about someone she knew who was almost 30 and had an abortion. Friend A says she obviously doesn’t want children if she would have an abortion so ‘late’ in life and if she’s not ready now, she’ll never be ready. Last night, I agreed with those sentiments.

Today I was on my favorite blog, feministing. And I read an article about women telling their stories about abortion and I got the above quote from an anonymous comment.  The author was telling her abortion story. She had two children and she was in 40’s and didn’t think she was prepared another child at that stage in her life. It’s a really cool article: http://www.babble.com/pregnancy/my-pregnancy/i-had-an-abortion/

Her story made me rethink my position about saying having an abortion when you’re almost 30 means you don’t want children. I think its ok not to want children. I think having a child is considering where you are in your life and are you prepared. The article made me realize women shouldn’t have to apologize for their abortions and that I was embracing some ideas that don’t align with my ideals.

I respect everyone’s right to choose despite their reasoning. 

Bow Wow and Kim Kardashian?

Am I really supposed to believe Lil Bow Wow had sex with Kim Kardashian? In a recent radio interview, Bow Wow was asked about Kim Kardashian. Instead of denying a relationship, he just smiles and asks, where did you hear that from?

The interviewer wants him to confirm or deny it, but he still insists he wants to know where he got it from?

He goes on to say she's a sweet, cool person and that he hasn't spoken to her  in years.

Really Kim? I guess after her 72 day marriage publicity stunt, I shouldn't be surprised by anything this woman does. I want to know how Kris Jenner is going to spin this one.

Jan Brewer gives Obama the finger

Everyone has probably seen this picture of Jan Brewer and Obama by now. There's people who feel, this is the most disrespectful thing someone has ever done to the president. Others feel like its racism. Whatever the reason for her inappropriateness, I would like to play an old fashion game of caption the photo.

Here's mine:

"Pull my finger, Obama."

"You hear me, boy"

"They should a never gave you nigga's the presidency."

"You better stop those illegals from coming into Arizona"

"Smell my finger, I don't think the summer's eve working"

What happened to Demi?

What happened to Demi? I could not believe my eyes when I saw this picture. Just a few months ago she was supple and the epitome of a milf. I read about her divorce from Ashton Kutcher, but I didn’t think it was a huge ordeal. Celebrity couples are always splitting up. This is definitely a reminder that celebrities are people too with real problems.

Moore was hospitalized a few days ago after she suffered a seizure. Her publicist says she getting treatment for exhaustion and to ‘improve her overall health’. There’s speculation that anorexia and drug use are to blame for the seizure. Whatever the case, I hope she gets the help she needs.

Downlow Myth

 

It was Martin Luther King’s birthday and I felt weird watching Love and Hip Hop, so I decided to watch something more constructive in the form of the Black List. The Black List is a HBO special where they interview influential black people. Lee Daniels was one of the people they interviewed. In his interview his attributes down low men as a lead contributing factor to black women getting HIV/AIDS. His intent was to show how homophobia was destroying the black community and we should be more open-minded.

I’m not sure if I ever heard a gay man say such a thing. Honestly, I was a believer once upon time. Getting more involved in the LGBT community, I started to think maybe the DL myth was just shrouded homophobia.

The DL myth as I like to call it, is everywhere. I was watching Girlfriends on Sunday and there was an episode where an old friend contracted HIV from her husband because he was a closeted homosexual. Sherri Shepard from The View said down low men were responsible for affecting women with HIV. Even Oprah hopped on the bandwagon when she featured a woman on her show that sued her ex-husband for millions, because he affected her with HIV. He was also a closeted gay man.

You can’t forget J.L. King fostered in this term down low with his book, “On the Down Low”. Obviously, it was about ‘straight’ men who slept with other men. As a result, black culture has never been the same.

So, I ask is there any truth to the paranoia?  Not according to my research. I was not able to find one credible source saying down low men were responsible for the large increase in HIV among black women. I found an article that contained an interview with Kevin Fenton who researches HIV in the black community. He works for the Center for Disease Control. When asked about the DL myth. Here’s what he had to say: “Yes, that would be true. It is crucially important to bear in mind that there are a range of risk factors, which face black women in the United States today. And, you know, the reality is that bisexual black men account for a very, very small proportion of the overall black male population in the United States. And, therefore, you need to look at the risk factors, which are far more prevalent in the community - having multiple sexual partners with unprotected sex with heterosexual partners, injecting drugs. Those are going to be factors, which are far more prevalent in the population and are driving risks.”

Another interesting piece of information from this interview: “women may not be able to negotiate safer sex and protected behaviors because of fear of losing eligible male partners in the community.”

I feel like the DL myth prevents us from having a more important conversation about black women and sexuality. To contract HIV at these rates, safe sex isn’t being practiced very often. Like Kevin mentioned, many women don’t like to push the issue. I’ve heard women say they don’t want to carry condoms because they don’t want to be perceived as promiscuous. I’ve heard we’re in love and in a monogamous relationship (the monogamous relationship is usually one-sided). He doesn’t want to, he says he doesn’t feel anything and the list goes on.

The conversation about female autonomy is the one we should be having. A woman who carries a condom should be seen as woman who is protecting herself, not as a slut. Women should understand that a man, who cares for you, would respect your wishes and wear a condom.  How can someone love you and not care about keeping you safe? Isn’t that what love is?

Red Tails

I’m going to see Red Tails. I promise. I’m genuinely excited to see it. However, I’m getting pretty tired of the go see Red Tails to save black film marketing campaign. I know not many black films are made, so it’s important to see the few that are. Do we honestly feel that one movie is going to stop all the racism in Hollywood?

Tyler Perry isn’t my favorite filmmaker, but he makes profitable black movies all the time. Will Smith and Eddie Murphy are two of the most profitable men in Hollywood. Many of Smith’s movie posters only feature him. Ice Cube has had success in Hollywood. 

Black music is successfully marketed all over the world, so why not black films? Maybe it’s about time Hollywood makes quality black films that feature real characters instead of caricatures and more black films will be successful. Maybe we should see them as movies and not just black movies. Movies that feature all white cast would never be described as a white film. It’s just a movie. 

George Lucas seems to want a prize because he funded a black film and I’m pretty sure Terrance Howard and Cuba Gooding would line up to give him one. They are definitely proponents of the save black film campaign. The story of the Tuskegee Airmen is apart of American history and should be important to all of us. And when you’re billionaire, am I really supposed to care you may lose a $58 million investment when I may never see $58 million in my lifetime?

Like I said, I’m going to see Red Tails. I want to. It’s not going to save black films. No movie should be placed under all that pressure.  

Shit Republicans Say....Is Rarely True

Over the weekend, I discovered some cool pictures and video that pertains to Obama and the republicans. The video above adresses some of views republicans tend to have of black people.


An article in Colorlines refutes claims made by Newt calling Obama the food stamp president. In fact, Bush still holds that record. Admittedly, you're judging two terms compared to one. On the other hand, the economic situation wasn't as dismal as it today. Whatever, the fact I'm more concerned with is white people, not black people are the biggest food stamp recipients.  Here's the link: http://colorlines.com/archives/2012/01/for_the_record_george_w_bush_is_the_real_food_stamp_president.html

Neverthesles, here is a picture of the welfare king. Its funny how we consider feeding people to be a huge transfer of wealth. We have plenty of economic policies to protect the wealthy. I can't imagine the tax loopholes Romney had to have to only pay 6 million dollars of taxes on 42 million dollars. Middle class workers pay at a much higher rate.  At the very least, we can feed those living in poverty.

 

Will Obama increase the debt more? Of course. Will it be more than 189%? Probably not.

There's one good thing to say about him.

Honestly, I'm just picking on Romney.

Being Gay is a Choice

I had no intention of blogging today, but this was too good to pass up.  Former Sex and the City star, Cynthia Nixon told the New York Times she was gay by choice. “I understand that for many people it’s not, but for me it’s a choice, and you don’t get to define my gayness for me.”

She goes on to say: "Why can’t it be a choice? Why is that any less legitimate? It seems we’re just ceding this point to bigots who are demanding it, and I don’t think that they should define the terms of the debate.”

I do agree with her point, no matter what argument you have, people are going to oppose homosexuality. People obviously feel that saying you were born this way feels more legitimate. Personally, I don’t think there are life experiences that make you gay. You have women who say, ‘I’m going to be with a woman because men treat me wrong’. They go out and have their ‘experience’ and they always go back. You can’t change your sexual orientation.

I understand why people would be upset. Coming out for many is a very painful experience. It takes many people years to come out, if they ever do.  For most, it’s not a matter of ‘choice’. We can choose the sex act we participate in but that doesn’t negate your sexual orientation.

Bisexual maybe, but in my mind, she’s definitely not a lesbian. I get the whole point here is to define your own sexuality and no one should be able to tell what you are, but I can’t wrap my mind around this one.  And I wouldn’t be surprised if this ‘gay’ woman’s next relationship was with a man.

Wayne's World

 

Lil Wayne has come to symbolize the high school crush that didn’t pay you any attention, then you seem them years later and they’re a total mess. I’ll admit it; I was a young, impressionable 7^th grader who read Word Up magazine to catch up on the latest from Cash Money’s prodigy.  I’ve loved Wayne since he released his first incomprehensible album. My love for Wayne has ceased. It doesn’t have any to do with the endless tattoos or his obsession with lean/purple drank. I’m not bothered by his obvious identity crisis. He simultaneously wants to be a rapper with street creed and skateboarding rocker. I’m sure he can do it all.

My problem with Wayne is he doesn’t love me back. He’s makes it very clear that he doesn’t like black women who aren’t fair-skinned. I could pretend that everyone is entitled to his or her preferences. I could also pretend his preference has nothing to with the self-hatred many minorities seem to have. Yet when he says things like: “I want a long hair thick red bone” or “Beautiful black woman, I bet the bitch look better red.” I wonder does he think about his daughter who is a beautiful dark-skinned young girl? Does he think about how the world tells her being light-skinned makes you automatically pretty? And when her own father describes a beautiful woman, she doesn’t look anything like her. 

Obama sings Al Green

This is the coolest thing I saw today, President Obama singing Al Green's Lets Stay Together. He's really singing to the American public.


I bet the Republicans are like, I knew All black people could sing and dance. 

Reasons I dislike The Help

Watching the Golden Globes the other night and seeing how The Help was nominated made me rehash all the reasons I disliked the movie in the first place. So I decided to share them. 

Its Stolen. A woman by the name of Abilene Cooper alleges Kathryn Stockett stole her life story and used it for her book. Cooper works as a domestic in Mississippi for the author’s brother. Stockett claims all the similarities are purely coincidental and fortunately for her a Mississippi judge dismissed Cooper’s lawsuit due to the statute of limitations. Here’s the link: http://newstalkcleveland.com/entertainment/warrenballentine/maid-says-movie-the-help-was-her-stolen-life-story/

It’s historically inaccurate. Viola Davis went on The View and said she was skeptical black audiences wouldn’t respond well to the movie because she was depicting a maid. I’m not disputing the fact that many black women worked as domestics in 1960’s Mississippi, that’s the only thing accurate about the movie. The 1960’s was a very politically charged time in this country’s history. Mississippi was very dangerous place for black people. The movie pretty much glosses over this. Domestic workers were regularly sexually, physically and verbally abused, but you won’t really see any of that in the movie.

The white savior. Need I say more?

You is kind, You is smart, You is important. Why do I hate the fact the Abileen is trying to encourage the little girl? What about the black kids? Octavia’s Spencer’s children in the movie lived in poverty in racist Mississippi, slept five to a bed and watched their mother get beat by their father. If anyone needed to hear, you is kind, you is smart, you is important it was definitely those kids.

Stereotypes. Racism. White woman telling black history. 

  

Rape

Rape is one social ill that’s always silenced. Even though most women would probably agree its always on our mind one way or another.  I get it, rape makes most of us so uncomfortable, so it’s understandable why its not talked about. Yet, with research saying 1 in 5 women will be sexually assaulted, it’s about time we end our silence.

Another problem is when we do decide to discuss rape, we don’t get any further than victim blaming and the stranger in the dark alley myth. The truth is, its not much women can do to get men not to rape them. And the overwhelming majority of rape victims know their attacker. Zerlina Maxwell from my favorite blog feministing.com tackles this subject: http://www.ebony.com/news-views/stop-telling-women-how-to-not-get-raped.

The video above is obviously inspired by the shit girls say phenomenon and entitled the shit girls say to rape victims. The satire addresses head on our culture of victim blaming. We’ve all heard them before and its up to us to fight against these accepted social norms.

Republican or STI

Yesterday, my friend compared picking a Republican candidate to choosing a STI, so I couldn’t resist the title. Honestly, I’ve been trying to keep an open mind. While I do believe Obama has done some great things like repealing Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell, healthcare and ‘ending’ the Iraq war. There is still much to be desired.

I’ve been over looking the Republican candidates.

Mitt Romney

“I like to fire people” What’s unfair about this, is its actually taken out of context. Yet, for some an impression is already made. Then when you look at his past, he is actually the guy who fires people. He saves company by lighten the workforce and out-sourcing jobs, which is exactly what unemployed Americans want to hear.

He pays a lower rate in taxes and claims making over $300,000 last year wasn’t a lot of money. Well Romney, the average American household makes $40,000.

Rick Santorum

“Women shouldn’t be president.” Ok. His staffer said this in an email, but for him to send it to him Rick he must share the same idea. And if we’re discussing Michelle Bachman, then you’re right- this woman shouldn’t be president.

Rick like Ron Paul, Newt Gingrich and Rick Perry believe abortion should be illegal, even in cases of rape and incest. Ouch

Newt Gingrich

He has the best educational policies. Here are a few:

“High school girls should be awarded if they graduate as a virgins.”

I don’t understand the obsession with virgins. I don’t understand why men/society feel the need to police women’s sexuality and/or bodies. How would we know if they’re virgins? By asking? Every teenage girl will tell you they’re virgins. And purity dances are creepy. (I just wanted to say that.)

“He thinks that we should focus on patriotic education instead of multiculturalism.”

What the hell is patriotic education?

“He would bring back school prayer with a Constitutional amendment and thinks that federal aid should go only to schools that allow voluntary.”

Freedom of religion, what’s that?

Ron Paul

I actually like Ron Paul. On social issues, we have a problem. I wished we lived in a world where opportunity was equal and privilege wasn’t an issue, but we don’t. So many social programs are needed. Capitalism at its core is a bad thing. I know we all want to believe we’ll one day be top 1%. It’s a system where we know there are going to be winners and losers. Looking at the wealth disparity in this country, there are a lot of losers. So, shouldn’t we as a humane society protect the losers i.e. the overwhelming majority? 

Herman Cain

He’s no longer in the race, but I thought he deserved an honorary mention. And considering all his extra-marital affairs and sexual scandals, he’s the one candidate who may actually have a STI.